Any writer who has ever sat in a writing class will be familiar with the phrase “show, don’t tell”. It’s one of the age-old writing tips, and while many writers may roll their eyes at its overuse, it’s actually very important.
Because showing your reader, rather than telling them, will help them create an emotional connection to your story. To your characters.
It’ll turn your book from a series of events that happen in succession into a story. Hopefully, one that sticks in your readers mind long after they’ve put it down.
So today I’m going to take a look at what “show, don’t tell” actually means, and more importantly how to successfully make use of it in your own writing.
At it’s bones, the concept of show don’t tell is relatively simple. Instead of telling the reader something, e.g. “Sally was angry” – show them instead. “Sally clenched her hands into fists.”
But this isn’t just true of character emotions. It’s true of scene and setting. It can be applied in your dialogue, in how your characters confront their internal and external conflicts. Throughout your novel, there are ways for you to show, rather than tell your reader.
Think back to some of your favourite novels. Your favourite scenes within those novels. Are you remembering reams of exposition? Or are you remembering how the author put the two characters on a bridge, and they finally stood together, rather than apart?
Showing is a powerful tool in your writing because it makes your writing memorable. It’s particularly important when it comes to your characterisation, describing your character’s feelings, building your world, and more. I also think it’s a lot more fun trying to show things than merely telling the reader everything. It lets you flex those creative muscles of yours!
But! As with all writing tips – there is a caveat. There are limits. And we’ll take a look at some of those, too.
1. Master the use of descriptive language
Descriptive language helps us build a vivid picture for the reader, which is especially important when it comes to characterisation and also world building / scene setting. Think of a gorgeous sunrise (or sunset – I won’t judge the night owls just because I’m an early bird!). Now, you could simply write this into your novel as:
Telling.
It was sunset. Mark and Daisy stood at the bridge together.
Or, you could show the reader the sunset, and put a bit of your love for it into your novel, as well.
Showing.
Mark and Daisy stood at the bridge, beneath a fiery orange sky.
The trick with using descriptive language is to try and engage the five senses. Think not only about what your characters can see, but what they can hear, touch, smell and (if relevant) taste in the scene as well. All of these little details will add subtle changes to your scene. Let’s say, for example, we’re writing a romance. Then perhaps we’d want some soft bird calls, or a distant smell of flowers. If we were writing a thriller, perhaps we’d want the taste of iron in their mouth, or splintering wood digging into their palms.
2. Remember, actions speak louder than words
Another age-old saying is “actions speak louder than words”. This applies to writing too, because how your characters act and react can often tell a reader far more about what they’re thinking and feeling than their dialogue simply can.
Actions and reactions can also signal things to the reader that the character might not yet realise themselves. One of my favourite moments in a novel is when one character realises they’re in love with another character. Often, this moment surprises the character, but it shouldn’t surprise the reader. Because the reader will have been watching the actions and reactions of the character carefully, and will have probably figured it out about 20 pages before the character even entertains the idea.
Now, imagine we only wanted to tell the reader that Daisy is in love with Mark. We’d say:
Telling.
Daisy suddenly realised she was in love with Mark.
Bit anti-climactic, isn’t it? How about we show the reader instead – using descriptive language (as above) as well as actions (and reactions) rather than words:
Showing.
Daisy's breath caught in her throat, and she reached for Mark's hand, gripping it tightly. 'Whenever I think of my life now,' she said softly. 'All I see is you.'
Both of these examples tell us the same thing: that Daisy loves Mark. But which one is more likely to stick in your reader’s mind? The image of her gripping his hand, her breathless whisper – or the exposition?
3. Reactions also speak louder than words
In the example above, how do you know that Daisy is nervous? I haven’t told you that Daisy is nervous, but I have employed something to show you. I’ve shown you some of her internal emotions, manifesting as external reactions.
Showing.
Daisy's breath caught in her throat.
This is true for all of your character’s emotions. Instead of telling us how your character is feeling, it’s far better if you can show it. I can tell if my sister is angry by the way the look in her eyes shifts, or the way her mouth purses. I don’t need her to turn around and tell me she’s angry (although she often will!). It’s the same for your characters – their body language is going to give away how they are feeling without you needing to spell it out for the reader.
A great resource if you’re getting stuck is the Emotion Thesaurus (the link takes you to the book) by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman, which breaks down both the internal reactions a character might have to their emotions, and the way this could manifest in their external behaviour. Their website also has a tonne of free resources to check if you’re getting stuck.
4. Leverage symbolism and metaphors
Symbolism is a powerful tool that you can leverage in your writing to show a multitude of things. A sudden storm appearing in a novel? The reader is prepared for something bad to open. The sun comes out after a long, long winter? The reader takes a breath, alongside your characters.
I take a more in-depth look at symbolism and how you can employ it in another post, but in the context of show don’t tell we want to use symbolism to transmit something to our reader without telling them.
Let’s say our earlier character Mark is waiting for a job interview. He’s nervous. The stakes are high. Now, this is how we could tell our reader:
Telling.
Mark was nervous. If he didn't get this job, he wouldn't be able to afford his and Daisy's rent.
But it’s far more powerful if we can show it through symbolism:
Showing.
The pristine white walls around him seemed to narrow, pressing towards him until his breath was shallow, and his palms slick. He needed this job.
Now, I know what you’re going to say. Hey, Sophie! That last example included telling! Which brings me nicely to the fifth and final tip of this post:
5. Know when to tell
Now, I know I’ve just spent this entire blog post telling you to show, not tell – but I did warn you there is an exception! Sometimes, like in the example above, it’s simpler (and more effective) to tell your reader pertinent information. The trick, however, is balancing the telling amidst the showing. Wield “telling” in your novel sparingly, and it’ll have more of an impact when you do eventually use it.
Great places to employ “tell, don’t show” is when you want to get a small amount of information across quickly in order to move the story along. A good example of this is passing time, and travelling between scenes, but my major rule of thumb is this. Use “tell” when you’ve got something essential to impart to the reader that isn’t pulling any double-weight in terms of symbolism or meaning. Use “tell” when you want them to get from one juicy part in the story to the next as quickly as possible.
Telling.
Daisy left the house before sunrise to reach the market in time.
Showing.
Daisy plucked up her keys, sidling through the door just as the sun began to peek out behind a blanket of grey clouds.
Now, you might prefer the writing in the “show” method. But we’re just trying to get Daisy out of the house! The really interesting stuff is going to happen once she’s at the market – her keys jingling, her sidling out of the door aren’t serving a dramatic purpose in this scene, they’re just descriptions of her actions and actually – they’re slowing the scene down. They’re preventing us from getting to the really juicy stuff.
So use “tell” to pass time, or to transition, or to impart crucial (but not dramatic) information to your reader. And use it sparingly!
That’s it from me this week, I hope to be back again soon with another writing tip for you. For now, happy writing writers! Also, if you’ve made it all the way to the end – did you know I have a book coming out?
The Lamplighter’s Bookshop – coming February 2025!
Scheduled for February 2025, The Lamplighter’s Bookshop is my debut novel, a historical romance set in 1899 telling the story of Evelyn Seaton, the aristocratic daughter of a gambling father. The synopsis reads: “After she and her mother are made destitute, Evelyn secretly answers an advertisement for a bookshop assistant at the shambling yet captivating Lamplighter’s Bookshop in York, but she is not the only candidate … competition comes in the person of William, a charming yet enigmatic writer hiding secrets of his own.”
Sophie Writes 